Battlin Bob's Summer Guide.

Yes it's summer,The kids are out of school,Old people sort of feel safe to get out more..

And yet no one has ever made a survival guide for summer?Why I ask? Is it too much to ask for a little bit of help?

Well your cries for help are being answered!!!

The following are just simple rules to help you,And others make it through the summer without injury(To them or you)

1)Keep you damn shirt on!!!
No one wants to,Or needs to see your"cool"tat.Or even worse,To see the home made V neck sweater that is your hair on your chest!!

Put that shit away!You do not have to show everyone that you look like Robin Williams..And Ladies,I'm sorry,The same goes for you!!I have nothing against tattoos,But if you have more ink then skin,Please god cover that shit up!

2)While we are on the subject of clothing,Why is it that everyone just has to wear a "wife beater"Look I for 1 know my big fat ass should NEVER ever be exposed to sunlight..The last thing people want to see is your fat ass man boobs!!

And just because you think it's cool,Doesn't mean everyone thinks it is,Trust me!!

3)Never..I repeat NEVER think you have the powers of the all mighty Jeebus,And Superman put together just because you have had a few drinks..Just because you THINK you can bodyslam a Buick,Doesn't mean you actually can!!Only very bad things can come out of a situation like this..And 1 of them is you being in traction!!!

4)While on the subject of thinking you are tough...NEVER..I repeat Never pick a fight with someone out of your weight class.. Where do you rationalize that it is smart to pick a fight with someone who almost doubles your weight? It's a sad situation when a wee little guy thinks just because a guy is fat,He can't do anything..
Hate to burst your bubble there JR,But this may be possibly the only time being a fatass is going to actually be ok..Only very bad things can come out of a situation like this...See #3 ..


5)Turn down your stupid fucking music!!! Look,I understand we all love music.But why the hell should I have to hear yours???

Are you in a stereo competition?No..So why the need  to have your (shitty)music cranked up so damn loud it makes my balls rattle??Just turn the shit down.. Someone may get angry..And go back to #3 to remember the words of wisdom...





So there you have it..I know I may have forgotten a thing or 2,If you have any suggestions, Please feel free to add them..Until then..Safe summer outings!!!