Saturday, June 24, 2017

Battlin Bob's Summer Guide 2017

Yes, It's that time again folks, Summer is upon us..Before you hit the beaches,And walk the boardwalk..Here a few things you need to remember..

Man Buns...

If you look like the clown on the left, Please just shoot yourself.. You are a poser, Shockingly you don't have a beard also, Plus at least 1 tattoo..Whoever came up with this Uber douche look,But they also need shot, Stabbed, Set on fire And buried!!!This has to be the stupidest looking thing I have ever seen.. And I lived in the 80's !!!
Just cut the damn thing off, No one wants to see that nasty bag o hair on top of your head. Just get rid of it..

Way too tight clothing..

If you have to jump off a dresser to get in them, You need to get rid of them! No one.. Man or Woman EVER needs to wear anything like this... EVER!! If you ask someone do these shorts,Jeans Whatever make you look like they fit ok(And this is coming from a fat guy) Get rid of them NOW!!!

No pictures needed for the following..

When going to a baseball game, Or any sporting event, At least know something about it.. Nothing worse then hearing this over your shoulder..
 So what does that guy out there on the left, Way out there by that wall, What does he do? Well genius, That is a left fielder, And that is where he plays. They are called position players for a reason.And it's not a sexual thing.. Imagine hitting the ball  to the left reverse cowboy... HIiiiioooooooo.

Bragging about seeing summer block busters...

In case you didn't realize, It's 2017.. Everyone will probably see that hot summer movie sooner then later.. You telling people the ending is just being a dick.. And a world class dick.. Just say it's awesome, And hope you see it soon.. Don't replay the entire fucking movie line by line!!

Summer Driving

These rules actually apply to most of the year, , Assholes are out in droves in the warm weather.. A very easy way to identify a class of common douches..Look for the BMW emblem , And I mean on anything..Cars, Tshirts, Even douche bags with a tattoo... Run don't walk away if you see these assholes...For some reason they think they are in Germany.. And that doesn't bode well for some.....

And there you have it folks.. A few of the things to be aware of during the upcoming summer months... Follow these simple steps, And you could save a life...Yours..... 

Sunday, June 4, 2017

This And That June 2017

Welcome back!! I promise I have been trying to get more content on here, But long week at work have derailed things a bit.. I am actually considering some sort of a ...gasp..Podcast .. And I am not talking about changing the format of this little ol blog, Just something to mmix it up once in awhile..Stay tuned..

I want to start this by saying the following, And it's a damn shame I have to clarify this.. I and every friends I know,Are not racist... Black, White, Whatever you are, If you do wrong, There should be actions!

Let's start with the incident that happened Friday night on Real Time with Bill Maher..

Hopefully you watched this video.. Here's my issue... I hear the N word in movies, Music, And ther places.. Let say for the record...The ONLY people saying that word, That word that is SO offensive, Are the people who bitch about it being used??????

I mean what the fuck already......You are going to preach to whoever is around about how you... Were oppressed .

My problem with this whole thing is this. People are calling for HBO to cancel Maher's show.. Putting people out of work. Why?? What if Sam  Jackson had said it? Because I heard that exact word the following day .. I know it's a movie, But Jackson said the word... It's used in Rap songs, Black comedians use it in their material...

It's a word that is used every day.. But if someone other then a black person says it... Look out!! Maybe it;s time to actually work on the people using it.. Rap singers, Comedians..Hold them accountable for that word.. You wanna show me that word shouldn't be used, Then start pressing for the same thing if a black guy said it....

We are all on this planet together, Can't we act like we all want work together?

Saturday, April 22, 2017

TV You Should Be Watching

I am so happy to see we may be finally getting away from all reality television!!

The last couple years has given us a bunch of good shows, But you may be missing out on the great ones!!

 Designated Survivor, ABC Wednesday 10PM

If you are watching this show,Wise choice..If you haven't, Catch up now! The show starts out a bit slow, But picks up fast! You know the general idea of the show, But the everyday goings on will keep you watching! Great cast, Great writing,

 Brockmire Wednesday 10PM IFC

Next up, May be my favorite show.Brockmire is a respected announcer, Until the day he walks in on his wife, Having an orgy.. On their anniversary!!! What follows is Brockmire having a meltdown live! The show picks him coming home 10 years later.Starting over in  Small town in Pennsylvania.. It's only on episode 4 right now, And IFC shows this show a ton! Catch up and enjoy the laughs!!And anyone who knows my former hometown, Will understand why episode 4 may be my favorite!!

Mr Robot.     USA On break as of now

This is the show you MUST keep up with, If you are 1 of these people who just watches a show, It's not for you. If you follow a great storyline, Watch this show!!Elliot is a hacker, And through him, You meet his"circle" Things are not always what they seem, So this is the reason you need to stay focused!! Of all the shows listed, This is the longest running(2 Seasons, Third coming soon), It has been hailed by critics as a breakthrough.. USA Has this show on demand, So catch up before season 3 starts!!

Lethal Weapon   FOX Season 2 TBA

I'm sure most of you have seen the movie series, And yes, This is the same premise... No, It's not Danny Glover and Mel Gibson, But Damon Wayans  as Murtaugh  And Clayne Crawford as Riggs.. Yes the show is different then the movie, But movies are only 2 or 3 hours. So you have to have plenty of story to tell on a tv show.. This actually follows Riggs more then the movie, Showing different sides, Talking to the police psychologist.Trying to find out who killed his wife. It's also on break right now, But FOX has it on demand also.As the case for a couple of these shows, It starts a bit slow, But picks up rather quickly.

 Archer  FXX Wednesday 10PM

This is why DVR's where invented!! So many great shows on the same night? Well just watch the replay on the dvr!!

If you are not watching Archer, I suggest it.If you have anywhere near the same humor as I do, You will love this show!!!

You do have quite a bit of catching up to do, Season 8 is underway, But you will not regret binge watching this show!! This may is one of my top 3 shows on right now!! Trust me, You will be glad you started watching!

Other shows you can catch anytime, Top Gear on BBC America, You don't have to be a gear head to watch, It's just good! Colony,On USA, Which doesn't come back for a new season until next year(Trust me,You'll need the time to catch up, And understand it).. And who could forget Last Man On Earth.. Even though he is not even the last man, Let alone the last person!! But still a great show..

I hope that if you're not watching any of these shows, You start watching.. I can say that 3/4 of these shows you will thank me!! Until next time. Rule#1 to Fight Club is that there is NO Fight Club!

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Where Has The Time Gone?

Hey, Someone changed the look? It is a special occasion!
Yes, It was 9 years(And 1 day) Ago we started this tiny little blog.. It was meant to be ,Well about sports.

But over the years, It turned in to  more.More funny articles, More covering sports, But in a satirical way.Yes I love my teams,And I am very loyal to said teams,But You can still be a fan, And make a joke at the same time.

A lot has changed over 9 years, I have moved on to another job(or 3 or 4 ) Since we started, Gained valuable insight,And weight (Ha ha),And I think grown up a bit more.. I mean it is 9 years..A lot has happened .

But we won't get in to all that today, No we are here to thank YOU, Yes, That's right..You,The loyal..VERY loyal 3 or 4 who have probably not read every post, But you've covered most of them.

Without you,I wouldn't be writing this today, I could have waited till the weekend, But I figured if you take the time to read them, I may as well write some occasionally ...

 I want to thank a few people,
I have to start with my old buddy Shawn, Without him telling me about the idea,And reading his blog,  (Never hurts to give free publicity lol)  I realized this is something I may want to do,And enjoy..And man I have enjoyed it!! Thank you Shawn for always plugging this little ol blog, Even though I don't post as much as I used to! I know we don't see each other much these days, And that's another thing that has to be fixed! But I always know, If I need advice, Or just someone to vent to, I can count on you! Thanks again!!

Ryan.. He was another person who, Even though he only has posted a few times on here, Has had more to do with some of the things I have written! Back when we were working together, Ryan and I would be driving down the highway, And those stories.. If those were ever printed, It would be epic lol..Ryan you still have control over my little ol blog(Well at least some lol) Feel free to post anytime you like!! I said the same thing to Shawn, But we all must get together and do a podcast, Or something 1 day soon!!

Then there are the loyals.. The ones who ask me, When are you doing another post about this, Or how much you enjoyed my ripping apart of ANY Baltimore team.. I hope I can get on a more regular schedule about posting now! As always, It's about what YOU want,If you have an idea, Please let me know.The worst I can do is say , I don't know much about it, Or ask for your help..When I see a record day for a post about football picks, It means a lot!!

Play us out Fred,Barney and the gang! Until next time, You can only have 1 shoe on a foot at a time!!

Saturday, March 11, 2017


For some odd reason,Out of the blue today,I've been thinking about a friend who passed away over 30 years ago
 .I'll go ahead and apologize now for the photo not being at the top...But I'm using my phone,So it's a learning curve doing a post like this..
Maybe it was hearing a Tom Petty song..Not really sure..But days like this I can't stress enough about the importance of friends... Most of my friends are long time friends..Some I've know almost my whole life..Others I've just met last couple years .No matter the amount of time,You've obviously know even if we don't talk for X amount of time,Most of us could pick up a conversation and go back years..
 Just writing this little note to let you know you matter in my life..So often people never say the words..Some...Well some can hold grudges,Even though their lives went on fine .But even those people..I STILL call you a friend... I know I am far...Real far from perfect..The good Lord has kept me going almost 50 years...And I pray he continues more then 50 more!!!
 No one is guaranteed tomorrow, Our lord gives us the gift of waking up and living every day..So Even though I might not call you,Or post something stupid on your Facebook, You know You are a friend for a reason..And I love you for the gift of our friendship..
We all need to be grateful we get to wake up and enjoy our lives..Tomorrow is not a given..Live,Love, And enjoy like it's the last day.. And no..I'm not going anywhere lol..So be sad or glad you're stuck with me!! Until next time..You can choose your internet,But only Choosey mothers choose Jiff!!

Monday, January 23, 2017

Not The Perfect Season Ender

It was time to get excited, The 2016 Steelers had made it to the AFC Championship game!!! The defense had shockingly turned itself around during a 9 game winning streak. The offense came back to life.All things pointed to this team becoming something special, And finally getting Lombardi trophy #7.

Then the wild, weird events started last week...

Antonio Brown, Going on Facebook Live, And sharing the post game speech from head coach Mike Tomlin. A bone head thing to do, But not the root cause of what Lied ahead..

A flu bug hit most of the team, You can't blame a flu bug if you are on the field at the start of the game.

Some dip shit decided to take a drunken dare, And pull the fire alarm at the Steelers hotel in Foxboro.. Not saying this is what cause the following events, But think back to this later..

Right out of the gate Brady was slinging, Pats up 3-0  with just under 2 minutes in the 1st quarter..

Steelers come out running with Bell getting 9 yards on 2 carries, On 3rd down...Incomplete pass to Brown.. Steelers punt..

THIS is the series where the turnaround should have started..

After a punt, The Patriots rushed for -1, Incomplete pass, And Jason Hargrave takes Brady down for a 10 yard loss, Pats forced to punt..

After 2 or 3 rushes by Bell, And a pass to James, The in completes started again.Steelers punt.

After 2  drives, Steelers longest play- 7 Yards, Patriots Drive with key passes to Hogan, Now up 10-0.

With 2:36 left in the 1st, Bell goes up the middle for no gain, On that play, He left the game with a quad injury..Finally get a score,Williams(in for Bell) 5 yard td, But Boswell misses extra point,Now 10-6

Continuing with a trend, Chris Hogan, is left wide open, Gets score #2  Patriots up 17-6 . Hogan has 7 catches for 117 yards and 2 touchdowns and we are not even halfway into the 2nd quarter..

CBS shows a shot of Johnny Manziel with a Brady Jersey on, Big deal...Steelers drop sure TD pass in end zone, Settle for a field goal, I see a trend starting..Halftime score, 17-9 Patriots. This should be a 24-17 Steelers lead, Without dropped td passes,And Sammie Coats having all e gator arms!!!

Fast forward to the fourth, Patriots have put up 19....19 Unanswered .. Although, They have also gotten away with quite a few pass interference and holding calls .. Plus the fact a Brady fumble was ruled not a fumble, Even though Hargraves had the ball.....At this point...

 Say what you want, But IF the Steelers would actually caught a few of the passes Ben put up, This game would have  a much different outcome..

All around, From offense to defense, The blame can spread evenly... Yes there were a few bad calls.. And The Brady fumble may have been a crusher.. But there was plenty of  time to get back into this game.The season that started with such promise after going 4-1 .... Imploded  for a 11-5 record..

The Steelers lost chances to nail down a bye week, They lost to Miami, Baltimore, And New England .. Key losses on the path to the AFC North Championship..
.   Saying all that, There are plenty of good times, Bell leading ALL rushers going into week 16.Only playing in 13 games. Skipping week 17, And still ended up over 2100 yards rushing/receiving for the season and,In my opinion Should get consideration for MVP votes.. You can see the difference with him off the field for sure.... Ben broke team records with wins, Passing yards,And a few others.. The defense had a great stretch,And is very young.. Losing like this, Should help build this team in the long run.

Here's looking forward to a successful 2017 season, No suspensions, No major injuries.. The climb on that stairway to 7 starts  anew.. I can't wait!!!!

Sunday, January 1, 2017

NFL Pick Em's Week 17

Happy New Year everyone!! Before we get started , I must apologize for last week's big snafu...

Basically it all started with a drive problem, Then after some switching around of things, Pretty sure we have the bugs fixed now.

So let's talk about wheat you really came here for..Football!!!

Dallas(13-2) At Philadelphia(6-9) 1:00 PM FOX

Could this be the"return" Of Tony Romo? Pretty much a meaningless game for the Cowboys, Would you risk losing the guy who got you this far?

Survey says.. Final Score, Jerry's Boy's 24- Green Eagles 18.

Cleveland (1-14) At Pittsburgh(10-5)
1:00 PM CBS

Before we do the pick, I would like to congratulate the 2016 AFC North Champion Steelers!!

With the division locked up, The Steelers will rest  Large Ben,Le'veon, And Brown.. No sense someone getting injured in a meaningless game.

The Browns will possibly start RG3 At QB... Just have that backup  ready to go as soon as possible!!
Sure the Steelers are resting 3/4 of their starters, But we are playing Cleveland at home
                                                                   Final Score, Cleveland Show,16- Mighty McBeams 24.

 New York(Andre's)10-5) At Washington(8-6-1)

4:25 PM FOX

This is so damn confusing... here's how the Washington Football team can make the playoffs..

Washington clinches a playoff berth with:
  1. WAS win + GB-DET game does not end in a tie OR
  2. WAS tie + GB loss + TB loss or tie

    The Andre's? They are already in. Can we live with 3 teams from the NFC Least in the playoffs?  
    Final Score, Andre's 21-  Washington DC Football team Who's name we will never say 24.. They get in the playoffs..

    Green Bay(9-6) At Detroit(9-6)

    8:30 PM NBC

    You think the Washington DC Team's path to the playoffs is something? Check this out,

    Green Bay can clinch the NFC North division title with:

    1.) GB win or tie

    Green Bay can clinch a playoff berth with:

    1.) WAS loss OR
    2.) WAS tie + TB win + GB clinches at least a tie in strength of victory tiebreaker over TB
    (Note: GB clinches at least a tie in strength of victory tiebreaker over TB if one of the following teams win or tie: SEA, HOU, JAX, PHI. GB has already clinched strength of schedule tiebreaker over TB in this scenario.)

    So you're saying they have a shot? Final Score, Cheeseheads 34- Silver Lions 24.

    Packers get in the playoffs..But Tampa loses, So I think the Lions get in also.. Or is it if the team bus gets a flat tire on the way home from the game, Or if a goat kicks a headlight out? Oh fuck it.. Just find out Monday!!

    And there you have it my friends, Yet another week of nowhere close to thought at, Non scientific pro football pick.. These picks are not to be used for placing bets..

    Until next time, No we have no bananas!!

Battlin Bob's Summer Guide 2017

Yes, It's that time again folks, Summer is upon us..Before you hit the beaches,And walk the boardwalk..Here a few things you need to r...