Wednesday, January 29, 2014

This And That Jan 2014

Happy New Year everyone..Very belated...With extra hours the last couple weeks at work, Hasn't been a ton of time to do what I enjoy!

Don't I wish everyone followed this rule!

The next fucking person who walks up to me, And says..."Cold enough for you"? I swear I am going to curb stomp their stupid ass!!Yes It's more then cold enough.. Thanks Accu Weather.. Now tell me how much of a chance Is there of you walking away? That little.. Fuck.....

I know I'm not the only person who enjoys TV, And I can damn sure bet I am not the only 1 who is tired of some these stupid ass commercials...

Do I really need to see dancing phlem?NO.... If my fucking gross nasty shit in my lungs is dancing,And having keggers in my lungs.. Why can't it escape any faster? Oh that's right.. Phlem just wants to take up residence in my upper respiratory system... And I guess there is only 1 product that serves eviction notices to said loogies in my system... Gee thanks.. Will this shit be dancing and singing as it is being projected out of my throat?  I didn't think so...

And then there is the WORST commercials ever... The fucking bears and toilet paper....
Do I really need to hear cartoon bears talking about wiping their asses? NO...I really don't.. It's like the old joke.About the bear sitting in the woods(Ask me about it if you've never heard it). Could be  worse I guess..They could show the paper AFTER they use it.. Hey Boo Boo.. You need to stop eating fiber...

And for now, We end with the"Big" Full House reunion this morning on Good Morning America... Didn't watch it.. But I'm sure this is how it went...

Dave Coullier- I am just glad to  be  here.. Does anyone need a party clown who's been mentioned in a song?
Bob Saget- Telling yet another incredibly tasteless joke(But funny as hell)

John Stamos- Am I the only 1 who is actually working? 

Sunday, December 29, 2013

NFL Pickems Week 17

At least that's what the Andres are saying!!

Jacksonville(4-11) At Indianapolis(10-5)  1:00 PM CBS 
It's hard to believe we have reached the last week of the season, At least for 90% of the teams we pick every week.2 teams have a shot, OK, 1 Has shot.. The other has to basically have the Hindenburg reappear and explode all over again,Just to have a shot.. Oh the humanity!!!

Wow, The Jagoffs sure have sucked this season.. At least they are not Houston.. This boys and girls is what is called a "Trap game".Or, As Tony Dungy would have called it, Rest time for anyone he could!!!

I'll be shocked if Luck is still playing after halftime!Final Score, Spotted/Black shitty helmeted Jagoffs 31- Blue Horse shoes 21.
Washington Football Team,Who's name we shall not mention, Due to it being racially insensitive(3-12)
At New York(Andres)(6-9)  1:PM FOX

Wow.. Now we get into REALLY crappy teams!!! I'm sure the Washington's never expected a season from  hell quite like this! And on the other side, Our Home team,The Andre's... Well at least they TRIED to show up this season, OK Most of it.. OK.. 6 games!! This game will be another Buffalo/Cleveland in a blizzard.. Not much fun to watch,And even worse ..Watching the entire game!!!Final Score, Burgundy and Gold Bigots 21- Andres 22.. Pick six will come into play somewhere in this game!
Cleveland(4-11)At Pittsburgh(7-8)  1:00 PM CBS

Here's a story of 2 teams... The first 1 had some things go very well at the start of the season, Bringing hope and optimism to it's faithful followers.. The other team.. Had problems from the start of the season, Leaving it's loyal fans to wonder, What the fuuuuuuuuuck?

By now you know the first team would be the Browns..And the other was the Mighty McBeams.. 2 Teams who had polar opposites of each other to start the first quarter of the season.. But it's not how you start, But how you finish..

If the Browns would have had Brian Hoyer at QB, The Browns may be the team who is hoping and praying for 3 other AFC Teams to lose.. But this season it's the Steelers, All the should have been,And what if's can be said.The Steelers need a win, And a Baltimore loss,Miami loss,And a San Diego loss to just get in to the playoffs.... Let's worry about 1 thing shall we.. Final Score, Brownies 21- Large Ben/s 38.. I'm pretty sure we all can hope for a Baltimore loss!!!

Green Bay(7-7-1) At Chicago(8-7) 4:25 PM FOX

Now we get into the win and get in, Loser go home games!!

Guess what? He's baaaaaaaaack!! Packers QB Aaron is finally back from a broken collarbone(And being traded on a fantasy team) The Packers have just barely held on to a slim playoff hope.. Now they need their star quarterback to help guide them to a playoff berth..

The Bears. Well they are the Bears.. Given the chance to lock down the NFC North against a Philadelphia team that was playing for nothing last Sunday, They just went out and got 54 put on them..Just remember you saw it here first, Or..Maybe the last thing you saw before the games started,,, Oh fuck it, Just know you read it ... Final Score, Cheese Heads 44- Da Bears 24.
Philadelphia (9-6) At Dallas(8-7)  8:30 PM  NBC

Here it is, The final regular season game of the 2013 season! In yet another win and in, Lose and go home game.. The Eagles, Who looked like they played the Washington Generals last week.. Will try and lock up the NFC Least crown with a win over the Cowboys.

The Cowboys, Are coming off a "huge" win last week against a Washington team.. In the process,They lost QB Tony Romo to a season ending back injury.. Hope beating Washington was worth it!!

Now you have Kyle Orton as your QB..You may be better off with Randy Orton.. At least he can defend himself!!!Final Score, Green Eagles 48- Sad Broke Backs 21..

And there you have yet another...Season... Of somewhat, OK, Not really thought out picks of NFL games.. We may be continuing the pick ems into the playoffs..1 Can only hope!!!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Gifts For The Season!

Yes yes, It's that time O year again.. Gather round the tree, blah blah.. Not everyone can get together for the season.. And we all like gifts right? These are a few people who deserve gifts this year,And  maybe that gift will last throughout 2014.

To Pirates manager Clint Hurdle. Lasting success into,And beyond the 2014 season.. You and the Pirates brought a new level of excitement to Pittsburgh this season.. Let's hope it keeps going!!

To sports fans everywhere.. Having a longer fuse/Less of a quick temper. We all love our sports, But no one needs injured or heaven forbid killed over a sport.. Is it worth someone spending time in jail because someone said your team blows goats?

To reality show creators. Try something original. Is it too much to ask that you give us something other then,A)Hillbillies,B)Hillbillies hunting gators,C) Hillbillies who can not speak a fucking word without it having a translation on the screen? Honestly, I do not understand the logic involved in running down to..Wherever these idiots live, And following them around with a camera.. All you are doing is making the idiots who watch this dreck  go out and act like them! My gift to you is this.. Writing classes. Just go somewhere,Anywhere, And learn script writing.. No one would be upset if you put a show on that is watchable..Honest!!

To all the Obama haters.. Just come out and admit you do not like having a black man run the country!! Bush did much worse then Obama ever could, But there are people who want to make him pope! Just finally admit what the rest of us already know.. You can not tolerate having a man of color run your country.. Not asking for much are we?My gift to you, Making you go back and read everything  they wrote about Governor Bush. Then maybe that will open your eyes a bit..

To fans of stars killed in horrific accidents.. Please stop saying"They died doing what they loved" They loved smashing into a light pole and catching on fire? Think before you speak..My gift to you.. A book containing every star ever killed in a accident.. Maybe then you could realize, Just because they are"Action stars" Doesn't mean they have a death wish!

To a certain individual (You know who you are)... Who thinks Obama is the next Hitler(Read 2 above) Who bases his hate of a team on whether someone signs an autograph for him, Who can not take an ounce of criticism from anyone.
My gift to you is this.. A book of history.This way you can finally see that things are,And have been messed up for years..Not just since Obama took office! Also the gift of listening.. If you are afraid to open your mind  to see the other side of things, You will always be the same person who thinks only Tea Party members are worth putting in office!!I also offer you the gift of forgiveness... I know I have had dust ups with my friends.Some worse then others.. But I have never..Ever had someone call for a public apology for something that was not that big of a deal!!!

And finally.My gift to my loyal 3 or 4 readers.. I wish you the happiest and safest holiday season! May you have a great 2014,And many years beyond! Here's looking at a year with much less sorrow, And many more great times ahead!!!
 Merry Christmas

NFL Pickems Week 16

Welcome back to the loyal 3!! Hard to believe we are at week 16 already,Speaking as a Steeler fan..I  wish we could go back to maybe week 2... Oh hell with it, Let's just restart!!
Dallas(7-7) At Washington Football Team Who's name we will not say because it's racially immoral...(3-11)
 1:00 PM FOX
What a cluster fuck Dallas has become.OK, They really have been like this for years.

First off, The Blame for last weeks loss(Some call it a Packers comeback, Others will call it 1 of the worst collapses ever)Should rest on head coach/Ginger asshole Jason Garrett..You are up by 23 coming into the second half,You continue to throw,And for some reason you seem to run a prevent  defense...You had DeMarco Murray averaging 8.9 yards a carry in the first half.So what do you do? You continue to throw the ball!!

Then, You leave Matt Flynn, Yes THAT Matt Flynn,The same guy who was cut by Buffalo in favor of Jeff Tuel....... Take that in for a second... I'm not saying he is a horrible QB, But if you are up by 23,This guy shouldn't be scoring 4 touchdowns in the second half...

On the other side of the field,You have the dysfunction that is the Washington football team. They bench their start Quarterback, Putting his backup in. I know all 7 turnovers were not his fault, But this is an improvement? Then you actually,Somehow score a touchdown at the end of the game, But instead of going for the tie...You try a 2 point conversion... Well that failed ... So ..... Now you have these 2 teams "Playing football"  What could possibly go wrong? Enough of these 2 shit hole teams already.. Final Score, Jerry's Broke Backs 21- Washington's Fighting Cousins 20. Someone throws a pick 6 to end the game!!
Tennessee(5-9) At Jacksonville(4-10) 1:00 PM  CBS

This is 1 of those games the league HAS to show..Sure,It's not Texans/Andres..But still going to be a shit fest! First team to 35 wins... Final Score, Fighting Fitzpatrick's 35- Spotted Jagoffs 30.
Cleveland(4-10) At New York(Jets) (6-8)  1:00 PM CBS

The biggest storyline out of this game? Jets TE Kellen Winslow says no one on the Browns can cover him.. The Same Winslow who has 419 yards for the season, The same Winslow who has played for at least 3 teams.The same guy who was drafted by Cleveland,And wrecked his motorcycle doing tricks.. This guy is a moron.. Oh wait.. He also killed someone..I know Ray Ray likes him!!!

Final Score, Cleveland Show 24- Green Planes 14.
New York(Andres) (5-9) At Detroit(7-7) 4:05 PM FOX

If you told me at the start of the season these 2 teams would basically be playing for draft position, I would have thought you hit your head...
The Andres collapse is more epic then the Cowboys,They have just sucked on a level  higher then anyone else could imagine this year!

The Lions..Yeah they are playing 500 ball, And until last week had a shot of seeing post season action.. This could get very, Very ugly in a short amount of time!!!
Final Score, Andres 12- Blue Cats 44.

Pittsburgh(6-8) At Green Bay (7-6-1) 4:25 PM CBS

8 Weeks ago, This may have been a classic match up, Rodgers/Large Ben in a Super Bowl rematch.. Today, We have Matt Flynn(Yes THAT Matt Flynn, We already discussed this, Pay attention).

This is not going to be another Dallas/Packers game.. IF the Steelers jump out to a lead early.The Steelers have to shut down anything in the second half, Keep the foot on the throat!! Pittsburgh has been a Jekyll and Hyde team all season.. Beating teams most did not think they had a chance to, Then losing BIG in games they should just walk in and clean house!
I just do not know what team shows up today,But I am writing about football picks..So I damn well better make a pick huh? Final Score, Mighty Mighty McBeams 34- Cheese Heads 21.

So there you have it, Yet another week of somewhat thought out, Not really precise NFL picks.. I'd say if you could do better, Do it..But only 2 weeks left of the regular season!!!
Merry Christmas to our loyal 3 or so readers.. May your teams be Merry and Bright!!!

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Week 15 NFL Pick Ems

Welcome back for yet another week of torture.. Last week, Not sure if it was just the rapid fire picks, Or I just picked everyone wrong...Well I did get 1 right..As always, Dallas didn't let me down!! Aim high Cowboys!!

 Chicago(7-6) At Cleveland (4-9)  100 PM FOX

Speaking of teams that kicked Dallas ass as of late.. The Bears scored early and often in a rout last week.. Now they go on the road to play a tough Cleveland team... On paper, The Bears should roll easily..But..And it's a big Ol but and I can't lie.. The Bears are starting Jay Cutler at QB  over Josh McCown.. The same McCown who has been almost perfect  since taking over for the Bears.. Playing a really good Cleveland defense.. Oh hell.. I know what to do.. Final Score, Da Bears 21- Cleveland Show 24.. This week they win!

Buffalo(4-9) At Jacksonville(4-9)  1:00 PM CBS

If you are watching this game today, There may be 2 reasons.. 1)You have someone playing on your fantasy football team..2) You are a true die hard fan!
There's no other real reason to watch this pile of shit pretending to be a football game!
Final Score  Red White And Blue Cows.14- Spotted Jagoffs 12.. Have fun with this 1..
Seattle(11-2) At New York(Andres) (5-8)  1:00PM FOX
Everyone thinks this is going to be a huge blow out.. And yes, It quite possibly could be..But this is about the time of year the Andres start making that annual run to make the playoffs..My season  is already off the rails..So I'm going for a bit of a stretch!  Final Score, Water Birds,21- Andres 24! Upset of the week!!
Green Bay(6-6) At Dallas(7-6) 4:25 PM FOX
 No Aaron Rodgers.. But plenty of Tony Romo.. Well I think I know what game I will peek in on once in awhile.. Just to see if the Packers defense shows up, And does a couple pick 6's!!
Oh hell... My picks are screwed for the year anyways... Final Score, Cheese Heads 34- Jerry's Boys 24.
Cincinnati (9-4) At Pittsburgh(5-8)  8:25PM NBC

Yet another game that on paper looks like an easy W for the Bengals..But this is why they play the game!
Pittsburgh has shown shades of actually playing like a winning team, Then shown shades of being just shitty...
The question is which team shows up? I'm guessing the team that has shown shades of winning...
Final Score, Bungles 24- Mighty McBeams 34..
And there you have yet another week of not really thought out, Poorly planned NFL football picks..As always, If you can do better..Send them in.. You have 2 more weeks!!!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

NFL Pickems Week 14

My job is to be annoying.. And keep Tomlin 20 yards away from the sideline!!
Usually I would sort of recap a game from last week.. But due to a very long night at work.. This is going to be picks only.. No won/loss, No time the game is on.. I apologize for all of that now, Hopefully next week Things will get back to normal.And now..Time to pick!

Miami At Pittsburgh. Take a guess who I'm going with here..Mighty McBeams 24- Land Sharks 14.

Atlanta At Green Bay..Even at home.. You still have Matt Flynn... The Falconers 21- Cheese Heads 14.

New York(Andres) At San Diego.. Yes Andre fans rejoice..You Beat that Washington team..  Andres 34- Laser Faces 32.

Dallas At Chicago.. Wow this is a tough one.. Dislike both teams.. I guess the lesser of 2 evils.. Broke Backs 31- Da Bears 33..

And there you have a very condensed version of not really thought out pro football picks... Maybe next week we can back to the way we were...Until then!!!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

NFL Pickems Week 13

Happy Thanksgiving to our 3 loyal readers!! While most of you pass the turkey and trimmings, I will be working in the mobile office,And hoping to find football on the radio!!!However you spend your day(Please don't go shopping!!)Happy Thanksgiving!  Now on with the show..

Green Bay(5-5) At Detroit(6-5) 12:30 PM FOX

How crazy has this season been? Packers QB Aaron Rodgers has been out since Nov 4th with a broken collar bone,And the Packers are only 1 game out of first place!
As much as they could use Rodgers back this week, Matt Flynn(Yeah, That Matt Flynn)Looks to cash in  being the starter this week.. I think he actually may pull it off.. Final Score, Cheese Heads 34- Blue Cats 28.

Oakland (4-7) At Dallas(6-5)  4:30 PM CBS

Okay,Last week he didn't throw a pick 6.. But give him time!
Finally a game the Cowboys should not lose.. They are playing at that spaceship looking mess in Dallas, It's Thanksgiving,The Cowboys "usually" Play well on turkey day.

Throw in the fact the Raiders ..Well they are the Raiders.. You know where I'm going with this..

Final Score, Pirates In Drag 14, Brokebacks 31.


Pittsburgh(5-6)At Baltimore(5-6)  8:30 PM NBC
Now this is the game of the day!!
The Ravens are just scumbags, Plain and simple.. Never before have I had such deep seated hatred for another team as I do with these Purple pants wearing pansies from disease town!!

Talk about your little ring you won last year,You still need to win 4 more to be in the company of the Steelers!! Next thing you need to do is find a RB!

Is it wrong Rice has 5 less yards for the ENTIRE season then Le'Veon Bell does in about 8 games?

Your 100 million dollar QB is the shits.. He had to leave Pitt to get a shot of playing.. So he went to.... Delaware State??? Be prepared for a long night on your back like the little bitch you are Fuckko.. This is going to be a ugly,dog fight(Sorry Mike Vick),And the winner moves to .500 for the season, And keep the playoff hopes alive.. Even the Late Sylvie Brown could see my pick.And she's been dead for almost 2 weeks!!! Final Score, Disease carrying Rat Birds 14- Mighty,Mighty McBeams 28.. I hope the Steelers get a bus with good shocks on it.. After riding those nasty,Pothole filled shit holes they call roads down there, I wouldn't want any of the Steelers getting hurt on the bus ride back to airport!!!
Ok... That's out of my system!.. Moving on...

Jacksonville(2-9) At Cleveland(4-7)  Sun 1:00 PM CBS

Good lord.. What a shit fest.. This is what you get for stacking  good games on Thanksgiving!

And finally a(Somewhat)Winnable game for the Browns! You are playing at home, Against a even shittier team then you.. This should be an easy W..

But then you realize it is Cleveland...There is always some way they screw it up, They are Dallas  if Dallas  didn't have a bat shit crazy owner,And a Harvard educated head coach!!!
 By now.. I bet you think you know who I am going to pick... Final Score, Spotted Jagoffs 21- Brownies 20.. See what I did there.... Sorry..I had to!!
New York(Andres) (4-7)
At Washington Football team who's name we will not mention(3-8)
8:30  NBC

Here's a battle of 2 teams.. Both SAY they are from said cities.. But Washington actually plays near Waldorf Md, And The Andres SAY they are from New York.. But play in New Jersey... How can you take anything either team says seriously?I mean if they say they are going to win, Is this just another lie? Well for these 2 teams, You may be right!

A personal thank you to RG3 For ending my playoff hopes in Fantasy Football this week.. Someday that trade will work for me.. ...Anyways...This game will be a real snoozer.. Unless you like games filled with interceptions,Fumbles,And penalties galore!!If that's the case..Boy have they got a game for you!!

Final Score, Andres (New Jersey, Not New York)21- Washington(Actually Md) Football team,24.. The game will hinge on a interception!
And there you have yet another week of somewhat thrown together, Never thought out picks.. Until next time.. Bye Bye..Buy Bonds!!!