Sunday, May 25, 2014

Welcome Back..Again?

Holy shit has it really been 4 months?? Sweet 9 pound 5 ounce Baby Jeebus!!
While I was away,This little blog turned 6 years old in March.Honestly I wish I could do this more, But with work taking over a huge chunk of my life,Plus other issues have made it difficult to keep an actual schedule to do this blog that I honestly am very proud of!Some people may not feel the same way I do, But this is my blog,So fuck em if they can't take a joke!!

I'm sure those of you(2?)Who have actually looked for new posts since January may or may not be happy to see this new post,Lord knows I have to have more then Pick ems for fucks sakes..

Today this will be more of a catching up on what's been going on,Yes there will be Angry Bob(Is there any other Bob really?Enough of the long drawn out welcome back.Let's talk about things.

As some of you know, My job involves driving. On a average week I probably drive about 1,400 to up to or over 2,000 miles a week. So you get to see shit that makes you wonder how some people get a license to drive!!Holiday weekends are possibly the worst. Joe lunch box feels the need to channel his inner Mario Andretti and hit the Interstate doing 80+Don't worry about the people you almost hit, And probably your 2 or 3 screaming brats you have stuck in the back seat, You need to get the beach and sit in traffic dick bag!

And it's always the same douche bag, The clown who drives a BMW, Or even better a Honda.. The guy thinks because you are doing 75(In a 70 zone) That you are going too fucking slow..So what does our"Hero" do? Waiting for someone  to get over is too time consuming, No No, You have to get in the slow lane, And pass  RIGHT in front of them!! Maybe leave a few minutes earlier..Nothing like actually being prepared asshole!


I've touched on this before, But have you ever bought a car from a private owner?You think car salesmen are parasites,Try dealing with some guy who thinks his 92 Dodge with a zillion miles on it is worth 4 grand..Even worse, The so called"Friend"(You know who you are asshole) That would sell you a car, Knowing all the shit that is wrong with it, But tell them,"Oh  a few bucks and it'll be as good as new" Wrong asshole, 1,200 is NOT  couple bucks!!! So what are you forced to do? Sell a car you WAY overpaid for,At such a loss it's historical.But You're the bad guy because you actually have the balls to speak your mind.. Well lesson learned dick bag(That's 2 dick bags in 1 blog,New record)!!

The reason I spoke about the whole car thing, I have missed events with friends, And I apologize for that. Yes I would have loved to do some of the things I have missed, But not just car issues have caused me to not connect with my friends as much as I would enjoy. The above mentioned work has been crazy.Just know I hope ALL my friends are doing well, Yes some I may not talk to as often as I wish, But you are still my friend for a reason,I am blessed with friends who even though we may not talk for extended periods of time, We can pick up like we talked 5 minutes ago!

I hope I am able to more posts in the near future, You know you're not going to get pick ems, That season is over, No Pens news,They made their annual second round implosion. Maybe a Pirate related article here and there(I still think they will make it to the playoffs again this season!),Mostly there will the articles you know you like.The stupid news, The angry rants, Hell if you tell me what YOU want.. I may just write about it. But for now. Hello My Friends... Hello...

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

This And That Jan 2014

Happy New Year everyone..Very belated...With extra hours the last couple weeks at work, Hasn't been a ton of time to do what I enjoy!








Don't I wish everyone followed this rule!

The next fucking person who walks up to me, And says..."Cold enough for you"? I swear I am going to curb stomp their stupid ass!!Yes It's more then cold enough.. Thanks Accu Weather.. Now tell me how much of a chance Is there of you walking away? That little.. Fuck.....





I know I'm not the only person who enjoys TV, And I can damn sure bet I am not the only 1 who is tired of some these stupid ass commercials...

Do I really need to see dancing phlem?NO.... If my fucking gross nasty shit in my lungs is dancing,And having keggers in my lungs.. Why can't it escape any faster? Oh that's right.. Phlem just wants to take up residence in my upper respiratory system... And I guess there is only 1 product that serves eviction notices to said loogies in my system... Gee thanks.. Will this shit be dancing and singing as it is being projected out of my throat?  I didn't think so...

And then there is the WORST commercials ever... The fucking bears and toilet paper....
Do I really need to hear cartoon bears talking about wiping their asses? NO...I really don't.. It's like the old joke.About the bear sitting in the woods(Ask me about it if you've never heard it). Could be  worse I guess..They could show the paper AFTER they use it.. Hey Boo Boo.. You need to stop eating fiber...

And for now, We end with the"Big" Full House reunion this morning on Good Morning America... Didn't watch it.. But I'm sure this is how it went...

Dave Coullier- I am just glad to  be  here.. Does anyone need a party clown who's been mentioned in a song?
Bob Saget- Telling yet another incredibly tasteless joke(But funny as hell)

John Stamos- Am I the only 1 who is actually working? 

Sunday, December 29, 2013

NFL Pickems Week 17

At least that's what the Andres are saying!!



Jacksonville(4-11) At Indianapolis(10-5)  1:00 PM CBS 
It's hard to believe we have reached the last week of the season, At least for 90% of the teams we pick every week.2 teams have a shot, OK, 1 Has shot.. The other has to basically have the Hindenburg reappear and explode all over again,Just to have a shot.. Oh the humanity!!!
















Wow, The Jagoffs sure have sucked this season.. At least they are not Houston.. This boys and girls is what is called a "Trap game".Or, As Tony Dungy would have called it, Rest time for anyone he could!!!

I'll be shocked if Luck is still playing after halftime!Final Score, Spotted/Black shitty helmeted Jagoffs 31- Blue Horse shoes 21.
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Washington Football Team,Who's name we shall not mention, Due to it being racially insensitive(3-12)
At New York(Andres)(6-9)  1:PM FOX

Wow.. Now we get into REALLY crappy teams!!! I'm sure the Washington's never expected a season from  hell quite like this! And on the other side, Our Home team,The Andre's... Well at least they TRIED to show up this season, OK Most of it.. OK.. 6 games!! This game will be another Buffalo/Cleveland in a blizzard.. Not much fun to watch,And even worse ..Watching the entire game!!!Final Score, Burgundy and Gold Bigots 21- Andres 22.. Pick six will come into play somewhere in this game!
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Cleveland(4-11)At Pittsburgh(7-8)  1:00 PM CBS

Here's a story of 2 teams... The first 1 had some things go very well at the start of the season, Bringing hope and optimism to it's faithful followers.. The other team.. Had problems from the start of the season, Leaving it's loyal fans to wonder, What the fuuuuuuuuuck?

By now you know the first team would be the Browns..And the other was the Mighty McBeams.. 2 Teams who had polar opposites of each other to start the first quarter of the season.. But it's not how you start, But how you finish..

If the Browns would have had Brian Hoyer at QB, The Browns may be the team who is hoping and praying for 3 other AFC Teams to lose.. But this season it's the Steelers, All the should have been,And what if's can be said.The Steelers need a win, And a Baltimore loss,Miami loss,And a San Diego loss to just get in to the playoffs.... Let's worry about 1 thing shall we.. Final Score, Brownies 21- Large Ben/s 38.. I'm pretty sure we all can hope for a Baltimore loss!!!
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Green Bay(7-7-1) At Chicago(8-7) 4:25 PM FOX

Now we get into the win and get in, Loser go home games!!

Guess what? He's baaaaaaaaack!! Packers QB Aaron is finally back from a broken collarbone(And being traded on a fantasy team) The Packers have just barely held on to a slim playoff hope.. Now they need their star quarterback to help guide them to a playoff berth..

The Bears. Well they are the Bears.. Given the chance to lock down the NFC North against a Philadelphia team that was playing for nothing last Sunday, They just went out and got 54 put on them..Just remember you saw it here first, Or..Maybe the last thing you saw before the games started,,, Oh fuck it, Just know you read it ... Final Score, Cheese Heads 44- Da Bears 24.
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Philadelphia (9-6) At Dallas(8-7)  8:30 PM  NBC

Here it is, The final regular season game of the 2013 season! In yet another win and in, Lose and go home game.. The Eagles, Who looked like they played the Washington Generals last week.. Will try and lock up the NFC Least crown with a win over the Cowboys.

The Cowboys, Are coming off a "huge" win last week against a Washington team.. In the process,They lost QB Tony Romo to a season ending back injury.. Hope beating Washington was worth it!!

Now you have Kyle Orton as your QB..You may be better off with Randy Orton.. At least he can defend himself!!!Final Score, Green Eagles 48- Sad Broke Backs 21..
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And there you have yet another...Season... Of somewhat, OK, Not really thought out picks of NFL games.. We may be continuing the pick ems into the playoffs..1 Can only hope!!!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Gifts For The Season!

Yes yes, It's that time O year again.. Gather round the tree, blah blah.. Not everyone can get together for the season.. And we all like gifts right? These are a few people who deserve gifts this year,And  maybe that gift will last throughout 2014.

To Pirates manager Clint Hurdle. Lasting success into,And beyond the 2014 season.. You and the Pirates brought a new level of excitement to Pittsburgh this season.. Let's hope it keeps going!!

To sports fans everywhere.. Having a longer fuse/Less of a quick temper. We all love our sports, But no one needs injured or heaven forbid killed over a sport.. Is it worth someone spending time in jail because someone said your team blows goats?


To reality show creators. Try something original. Is it too much to ask that you give us something other then,A)Hillbillies,B)Hillbillies hunting gators,C) Hillbillies who can not speak a fucking word without it having a translation on the screen? Honestly, I do not understand the logic involved in running down to..Wherever these idiots live, And following them around with a camera.. All you are doing is making the idiots who watch this dreck  go out and act like them! My gift to you is this.. Writing classes. Just go somewhere,Anywhere, And learn script writing.. No one would be upset if you put a show on that is watchable..Honest!!


To all the Obama haters.. Just come out and admit you do not like having a black man run the country!! Bush did much worse then Obama ever could, But there are people who want to make him pope! Just finally admit what the rest of us already know.. You can not tolerate having a man of color run your country.. Not asking for much are we?My gift to you, Making you go back and read everything  they wrote about Governor Bush. Then maybe that will open your eyes a bit..

To fans of stars killed in horrific accidents.. Please stop saying"They died doing what they loved" They loved smashing into a light pole and catching on fire? Think before you speak..My gift to you.. A book containing every star ever killed in a accident.. Maybe then you could realize, Just because they are"Action stars" Doesn't mean they have a death wish!

To a certain individual (You know who you are)... Who thinks Obama is the next Hitler(Read 2 above) Who bases his hate of a team on whether someone signs an autograph for him, Who can not take an ounce of criticism from anyone.
My gift to you is this.. A book of history.This way you can finally see that things are,And have been messed up for years..Not just since Obama took office! Also the gift of listening.. If you are afraid to open your mind  to see the other side of things, You will always be the same person who thinks only Tea Party members are worth putting in office!!I also offer you the gift of forgiveness... I know I have had dust ups with my friends.Some worse then others.. But I have never..Ever had someone call for a public apology for something that was not that big of a deal!!!


And finally.My gift to my loyal 3 or 4 readers.. I wish you the happiest and safest holiday season! May you have a great 2014,And many years beyond! Here's looking at a year with much less sorrow, And many more great times ahead!!!
 Merry Christmas

NFL Pickems Week 16

Welcome back to the loyal 3!! Hard to believe we are at week 16 already,Speaking as a Steeler fan..I  wish we could go back to maybe week 2... Oh hell with it, Let's just restart!!
Dallas(7-7) At Washington Football Team Who's name we will not say because it's racially immoral...(3-11)
 1:00 PM FOX
What a cluster fuck Dallas has become.OK, They really have been like this for years.

First off, The Blame for last weeks loss(Some call it a Packers comeback, Others will call it 1 of the worst collapses ever)Should rest on head coach/Ginger asshole Jason Garrett..You are up by 23 coming into the second half,You continue to throw,And for some reason you seem to run a prevent  defense...You had DeMarco Murray averaging 8.9 yards a carry in the first half.So what do you do? You continue to throw the ball!!

Then, You leave Matt Flynn, Yes THAT Matt Flynn,The same guy who was cut by Buffalo in favor of Jeff Tuel....... Take that in for a second... I'm not saying he is a horrible QB, But if you are up by 23,This guy shouldn't be scoring 4 touchdowns in the second half...

On the other side of the field,You have the dysfunction that is the Washington football team. They bench their start Quarterback, Putting his backup in. I know all 7 turnovers were not his fault, But this is an improvement? Then you actually,Somehow score a touchdown at the end of the game, But instead of going for the tie...You try a 2 point conversion... Well that failed ... So ..... Now you have these 2 teams "Playing football"  What could possibly go wrong? Enough of these 2 shit hole teams already.. Final Score, Jerry's Broke Backs 21- Washington's Fighting Cousins 20. Someone throws a pick 6 to end the game!!
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Tennessee(5-9) At Jacksonville(4-10) 1:00 PM  CBS

This is 1 of those games the league HAS to show..Sure,It's not Texans/Andres..But still going to be a shit fest! First team to 35 wins... Final Score, Fighting Fitzpatrick's 35- Spotted Jagoffs 30.
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Cleveland(4-10) At New York(Jets) (6-8)  1:00 PM CBS

The biggest storyline out of this game? Jets TE Kellen Winslow says no one on the Browns can cover him.. The Same Winslow who has 419 yards for the season, The same Winslow who has played for at least 3 teams.The same guy who was drafted by Cleveland,And wrecked his motorcycle doing tricks.. This guy is a moron.. Oh wait.. He also killed someone..I know Ray Ray likes him!!!

Final Score, Cleveland Show 24- Green Planes 14.
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New York(Andres) (5-9) At Detroit(7-7) 4:05 PM FOX


If you told me at the start of the season these 2 teams would basically be playing for draft position, I would have thought you hit your head...
The Andres collapse is more epic then the Cowboys,They have just sucked on a level  higher then anyone else could imagine this year!

The Lions..Yeah they are playing 500 ball, And until last week had a shot of seeing post season action.. This could get very, Very ugly in a short amount of time!!!
Final Score, Andres 12- Blue Cats 44.
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Pittsburgh(6-8) At Green Bay (7-6-1) 4:25 PM CBS

8 Weeks ago, This may have been a classic match up, Rodgers/Large Ben in a Super Bowl rematch.. Today, We have Matt Flynn(Yes THAT Matt Flynn, We already discussed this, Pay attention).

This is not going to be another Dallas/Packers game.. IF the Steelers jump out to a lead early.The Steelers have to shut down anything in the second half, Keep the foot on the throat!! Pittsburgh has been a Jekyll and Hyde team all season.. Beating teams most did not think they had a chance to, Then losing BIG in games they should just walk in and clean house!
I just do not know what team shows up today,But I am writing about football picks..So I damn well better make a pick huh? Final Score, Mighty Mighty McBeams 34- Cheese Heads 21.
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So there you have it, Yet another week of somewhat thought out, Not really precise NFL picks.. I'd say if you could do better, Do it..But only 2 weeks left of the regular season!!!
Merry Christmas to our loyal 3 or so readers.. May your teams be Merry and Bright!!!

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Week 15 NFL Pick Ems

Welcome back for yet another week of torture.. Last week, Not sure if it was just the rapid fire picks, Or I just picked everyone wrong...Well I did get 1 right..As always, Dallas didn't let me down!! Aim high Cowboys!!









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 Chicago(7-6) At Cleveland (4-9)  100 PM FOX

Speaking of teams that kicked Dallas ass as of late.. The Bears scored early and often in a rout last week.. Now they go on the road to play a tough Cleveland team... On paper, The Bears should roll easily..But..And it's a big Ol but and I can't lie.. The Bears are starting Jay Cutler at QB  over Josh McCown.. The same McCown who has been almost perfect  since taking over for the Bears.. Playing a really good Cleveland defense.. Oh hell.. I know what to do.. Final Score, Da Bears 21- Cleveland Show 24.. This week they win!

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Buffalo(4-9) At Jacksonville(4-9)  1:00 PM CBS

If you are watching this game today, There may be 2 reasons.. 1)You have someone playing on your fantasy football team..2) You are a true die hard fan!
There's no other real reason to watch this pile of shit pretending to be a football game!
Final Score  Red White And Blue Cows.14- Spotted Jagoffs 12.. Have fun with this 1..
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Seattle(11-2) At New York(Andres) (5-8)  1:00PM FOX
Everyone thinks this is going to be a huge blow out.. And yes, It quite possibly could be..But this is about the time of year the Andres start making that annual run to make the playoffs..My season  is already off the rails..So I'm going for a bit of a stretch!  Final Score, Water Birds,21- Andres 24! Upset of the week!!
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Green Bay(6-6) At Dallas(7-6) 4:25 PM FOX
 No Aaron Rodgers.. But plenty of Tony Romo.. Well I think I know what game I will peek in on once in awhile.. Just to see if the Packers defense shows up, And does a couple pick 6's!!
Oh hell... My picks are screwed for the year anyways... Final Score, Cheese Heads 34- Jerry's Boys 24.
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Cincinnati (9-4) At Pittsburgh(5-8)  8:25PM NBC

Yet another game that on paper looks like an easy W for the Bengals..But this is why they play the game!
Pittsburgh has shown shades of actually playing like a winning team, Then shown shades of being just shitty...
The question is which team shows up? I'm guessing the team that has shown shades of winning...
Final Score, Bungles 24- Mighty McBeams 34..
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And there you have yet another week of not really thought out, Poorly planned NFL football picks..As always, If you can do better..Send them in.. You have 2 more weeks!!!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

NFL Pickems Week 14

My job is to be annoying.. And keep Tomlin 20 yards away from the sideline!!
Usually I would sort of recap a game from last week.. But due to a very long night at work.. This is going to be picks only.. No won/loss, No time the game is on.. I apologize for all of that now, Hopefully next week Things will get back to normal.And now..Time to pick!

Miami At Pittsburgh. Take a guess who I'm going with here..Mighty McBeams 24- Land Sharks 14.

Atlanta At Green Bay..Even at home.. You still have Matt Flynn... The Falconers 21- Cheese Heads 14.

New York(Andres) At San Diego.. Yes Andre fans rejoice..You Beat that Washington team..  Andres 34- Laser Faces 32.

Dallas At Chicago.. Wow this is a tough one.. Dislike both teams.. I guess the lesser of 2 evils.. Broke Backs 31- Da Bears 33..

And there you have a very condensed version of not really thought out pro football picks... Maybe next week we can back to the way we were...Until then!!!