Wednesday, October 1, 2014

NFL Pickems Week 5

This is going to be a very, Very brief pick em's this week.. I figure if no one is reading, Why take the extra time out of watching the Bucs wild card game..













Vikings(2-2) At Green Bay(2-2) 8:25 Thursday

                                                              Cheese Heads 42- Purple Vikes 28

                                                                   Texans 31- Broke Backs 30.
                                                                         
                                                                     McBeams 42- Jagoffs 21
                                                                   Falcons 38- Andres 36.
                                                                    Cleveland Show 34- Titans 21.   
                                   
                                                               There they are.. If you are reading this, I'm shocked.. Maybe next week I'll actually do more.. Maybe.. Guess you'll have to wait and see

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

NFL Pickems Week 4

How the fuck did I know that the Andres would actually play last week?


See that guy on the left? Yeah That's me.. I'm the guy who went 3-4 last week.. No worries, There's always another week ahead, So no sense
wasting time correct?










                                   
New York(Andres)(1-2) At Washington(1-2) 8:25 PM CBS NFLN

Holy shit the Andres showed signs of life last week..If you said, Oh come on Bob, New York had a shot,I'd have to say you my friend were drinking paint thinner!!

Then The RG3 Less Racially Insensitive Team Name we won't say actually played shoot out with the Birds O Prey..This game.. I have to stick with my gut on this.. It'll be yet another shoot out, Eli may actually win 2 in a row.. Final Score,Andres 31- Kirlk's Cousins 28.

                                                         
                                                           Green Bay(1-2) At Chicago(2-1) Sun 1:00 PM FOX
                                                  Well the Pack shit the bed last week.. I know Detroit has a good defense, But it's Aaron fucking Rodgers here..1 Thing neither team has right now? A decent running game.Of course when you play from behind, Not much time to run is there?
                                                                    Green Bay will benefit from the Bears having a little shorter week, But will it help?Take a guess..Final Score, Cheese Heads 35- Da Bears 21.


I may be a really, Really Gay steelworker,But my team can beat yours!!
Tampa Bay(0-3) At Pittsburgh(2-1) 1:00PM FOX

Where do I begin, I don't know if Carolina is that bad..Or the Steelers found their defense for a night.

This may have been the best game Pittsburgh has played in almost 2 seasons!

And if you thought last week was a good game. Here comes Tampa Bay! This is a very, Very shitty team, No running game(Le'Veon Bell has more yards then BOTH running backs from Tampa..

But of course this is the Steelers.. They show up against teams that they should beat,But then there is that 1 or 2 times  the really bad team lays an ass kicking on them.. I don't see this being 1 of those weeks..       
                                                               Final Score, Mighty McBeams  41- Tampon Bay 20.


Hi..I'm Gus..The talking Mule/

Jacksonville(0-3) At San Diego (2-1) 4:05 PM CBS

Now here's a really..Really crappy team.The 1 bright spot? They are now going with rookie QB Blake Bortles,Who in 1/2  a  game has almost half the passing yards  Chad Henne had in almost 3 weeks. Things can only improve right?

Well welcome to San Diego,Where Phillip Rivers is doing his best to win the AFC West.. The Chargers got a bit of bad news this week, All purpose threat(And all around nice white guy) Danny Woodhead will miss the rest of the season. Hey what's the over/under on  Ryan Matthews making it the rest of the year without spraining his vergina?
              
                                                             Final Score,Jagoffs 21- Whale's Vaginas 32.


                                                           Philadelphia (3-0) At San Fransisco (1-2) 4:25 PM FOX

                                                       Let's be honest about this.. The Eagles may be the best team in the NFL at the moment. They could play a half, Then just come out and kick the hell out of you. The key is, Keeping the Eagles offense on the sidelines.Yeah it sounds easy.. But no one can do it yet..

                                                        Then there are the 49'ers.. Talk about a team under achieving.. They may suck in the magnitude Tampa and Jacksonville do, But it's pretty close.. It'll be over by the 2nd quarter..
                                                            Final Score, Green Birds 42- Gold Diggers 21.



New Orleans (1-2) At Dallas (2-1) 8:30 PM NBC

Usually by the time I get to the Sunday night game, I could care less(Unless the Steelers are playing)And  this week .. I could care less!! The Cowboys won't be playing the Rams this week, So lord knows we will get to see the Tony Romo glazed look on the sidelines!

Oh screw it..  Final Score, Who Days, Or Dats Or Dims.. 48- Broke Backs 24.




                                               And there you have it.. Yet another, Oh screw it..Not like anyone gets this far to read this shit anyways.. Game on!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

NFL Pickems Week 3

They can win a upset game.. Just like Bob said....
I always used to believe sports was my get away.. Hate work, Watch some baseball.. Having trouble with the ladies, Watch some football... But Now it just seems like sports ARE making my escape from life.. Well life... Thanks you wife beating ass clowns, Now what am I going to do, Watch Pro shuffleboard?

At least I did somewhat better last week with my picks.I did call the Browns upset,Take that Jimmy The Greek!!!




Baltimore(1-1)At Cleveland(1-1)  1:00 PM CBS

If there is 1 team I despise, It's the Ravens.. And for 1 simple reason, They stole the former Cleveland Browns. This coming after they had a team leave in the middle of the night,And cried and whined about to everyone and anyone.

So nothing, I mean nothing in this world brings me near as much joy as when the Shit birds of Shit town lose a game!! We'll talk about how they won at home against my Steelers in a bit. But all I know is, If they can beat a New Orleans team like they did.. Going for 2 here folks..
                       Final Score,Shit Birds 18- Cleveland Show 24!!




Green Bay (1-1) At Detroit(1-1) 1:00 PM FOX

                                                      This entire division has lost it's fucking mind... Everyone is 1-1.. Someone  decide to win already.. Sure it's 2 games, But after 16 it would be 8-8 right? What a crazy go nuts world... Any who.. Final Score Rodgers Dodgers 38- Bankruptcy Court 21....


                                                         Indianapolis(0-2)At Jacksonville (0-2) 1:00 PM CBS
                                                  When you check the standings in the AFC South, And see Houston on top, And the Colts in last place(Tied with the Jags) You wonder what twisted fucking world did I just show up to? And where the hell is the alternate reality? Honestly,Does anyone care about the Jaguars? I'll answer.. Fuck And no...... Final Score,Blue Horse Shoes 37- Black and Teal Jagoffs 14.
 Houston(2-0) At New York(Andres) (0-2) 1:00 CBS

Speaking of teams no one cares about.. This white flag used to belong to the Cleveland Browns, And lord knows they still may find a way back to it..

But the New York Football Andres have found exciting, Mind numbing ways to lose, Week in and week out..

Meanwhile the Texans are everyone's new darlings.. Oh look, JJ Watt just scored a passing TD.. Oh look, That was done  30 years ago.. Big fucking deal.. Catch that pass against a real defense..
                                                                       Final Score, Houston JJ's 24- Andres 16.



Washington (1-1) At Philadelphia(2-0) 1:00 PM FOX

Ruh Roh.... RG3 got a ankle boo boo.. Now Cousin Kirk is in charge of the team who's name we will not say.. They do have this going for them, They beat up on the same team that gave the Eagles a first half fit. And Philly had to come back in the second half yet again to pull out the win! Oh if it wasn't for Hank, I wouldn't even picxk this game.. But alas, I shall.. Final Score Racially Insensitive Name 31- Green Birds 34.



 Dallas(1-1) At St Louis(1-1) 1:00 PM FOX

Good lord there are a lot of 1 o'clock games this week.. What the hell man??

Dallas gets another somewhat easy week..Taking on the Rams with a third string QB.. But the Cowboys have Tony Romo, So that evens out things..

Oh who am I kidding..I would rather watch hair catch fire then watch this suck fest..

Final Score, Romo's Bad Back 28- City Goats 21.


Great fucking job Troy.. How about you NOT let them score???

Pittsburgh(1-1)At Carolina(2-0) 8:30 PM NBC

Where to begin.. How about the shitty defense the first 2 games of the season?? How about Ben being Ben, And not just throw the ball away, But rather get sacked for a 12 yard loss...

Meanwhile Carolina has won both games so far, With 2 different QB's..And a pretty good defense(Minus a wife Beater now).

Honestly, I have no idea which Steeler team shows up. The team that,At times looks like it could beat any team..
Or the court jester team.. You know, Bell runs for 8 yards, Ben tries to get pretty.. 15 Yard loss.. Holding,Offense, Repeat second down.. Third and Carolina later..He throws a perfect pass  for a touchdown..Save all the other bullshit..
Just score damnit!! Final Score, Battlin Ben's 28- Black Panther Party 27.




And there you have it folks, Yet another week of not even close to being thought out, No way shape or form scientific Professional Football prognostications...You don't like my score? My pick? Well YOU tell me who's going to win!!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

NFL Pickems Week 2

Well,We didn't do THAT bad last week. If you call going 3-2 not bad!!

But honestly things could be worse.. Your name could be Ray Rice, And you could have went to Rutgers...

Before we start the picks, I want to let everyone know you have a chance to pick with us.. If you think(Or Know)That you can pick better, Let us know, We'll post your picks!









 Pittsburgh(1-0) At Baltimore(0-1)
8:30 PM NFLN/CBS





Where do we start? The fact that Baltimore is 0-1,And has to face a division rival on a short week.Or maybe the fact that even after this week, They only have 1 decent running back on the roster?

I really feel bad for the Ravens, No seriously, You just have to feel bad for someone who continues to draft scumbags and steaming piles of shit..

Who am I kidding, This could not happen to any more of a deserving team!!

Pittsburgh just held on to win Sunday, That defense is going to give me fucking ulcers!!When you give up 24 points in the span of 30 minutes, There is a major problem!

That being said.. You can Baltimore is going to be playing with heart. Guess what they won't be playing with? A running back who is somewhat decent..
                                         Final Score, Mighty McBeams ,31- Shit Hole Convicts 14.


New Orleans(0-1) At Cleveland(0-1)

1:00 PM FOX

I have a feeling,And That shocking moment is a few moments away.Until then, How about last week.
I'm not sure what to take away from the Browns week 1 loss. Is their offense that good? Was the Steelers defense that bad?
All I know is this week the Browns are playing a defense that gave up over 500 yards total offense last week..

At the end of the day, I can only hope Cleveland stays like Cleveland, Looks good trying to come back, But still loses almost every week.. Here's the part where I shock you..

                                        Final Score, Who Dat, Or Who Dare whatever.. 31- Cleveland Show 32.


Arizona Cardinals(1-0) At New York(Andres)(0-1) 1:00 PM FOX

                                   Glad to see Eli Manning is ready to start a new season..

                                     You would think the Andres have a shot this week, Cards playing on the road,
Running back situation a little up in the air. That's when you realize Arizona QB Carson Palmer has more yards then pretty much the entire Giants roster!!Sweet 9 pound 5 ounce Baby Jeebus they are giving the Jaguars a run for the worst football team...I can't even talk about this game without getting a case of the runs..Final Score, Red Birds 34- Andres 17..


Dallas(0-1) At Tennessee(1-0) 1:00PM FOX

Speaking of teams that suck... I said this the other day, Dallas sucks out loud, In color, Blind and deaf people can actually sense the amount of suck when the Cowboys play!!

What is even scarier? The Titans are tied for first place. Sure it's only week 2.. But still..

This could be a very, Very long afternoon.. Good luck watching this train wreck..
            Final Score,Jerry's Boys 14-Titans(What the fuck is a Titan?) 24.






                                                Jacksonville(0-1) At Washington Football team(0-1) 1:00 PM CBS
                            And still on the subject of horrible teams, If you watched more then 1 half of either game Congratulations, You are a true fan.
                                             This is going to end up whoever has the ball last will win.
Why I'm still picking anything related to these 2, Is beyond me!!!
                                                       Final Score, Jagoffs 17- Washingtons 21.


                                            New York(Jets)(1-0) At Green Bay (0-1) 4:25 PM CBS
                             This should be a simple romp for the Packers, But they do have problems with those athletic quarterbacks.Oh wait. It's Geno Smith..
                                                        Final Score, Planes 14- Acme Meat Packers 38.



                                 Philadelphia(1-0)At Indianapolis (0-1)8:30 or so.. ESPN

                                 Another week, Another AFC South opponent for the Eagles, Unlike last week, The Colts are not just going to stop playing after the second half.. Glad to see Trent Richardson delighted Fantasy Football owners with yet another stellar week...This may actually be a watchable game, Even for casual fans. Final Score, Liberty Bells 37- Blue Horse Shoes 34.







And there you have it folks, Yet another week of sub par, Not highly thought out ,Never scientific  Professional Football picks.. You think you can do better? Then get in touch with me.. I'll post your pick with mine!!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

NFL Pickems Week 1

We're back!!! It's about fucking time! Sweet 9 pound, 5 ounce baby jeebus it's been forever since we have been picking nfl games for no other reason to hopefully make 1 or 2 of you laugh...So without further delay.. A picking we will go!!











Packers At Seahawks 8:30 Thursday  NBC

It's the revenge of the hail mary game. Only it's been 2 years.. This is the 1 thing I hate about the new schedule.. Fucking Thursday night games. I'm off Wednesdays,So of course I'll miss every game!

In all honesty, This may be the game of the week.. Just hope and pray the refs don't fuck this up playing flag a thon 2014..
 Final Score .Discount Double checkers 31- 12TH man 28. Fuck you Seahawks..






Cleveland At Pittsburgh
                        1:00PM CBS
                             
 Lord knows what you'll see in this game. The Chronic Brothers in the backfield for the Harf Harfs.. Or Johnny Football for the Brownies..

Hoping to watch this entire game, And hoping Cleveland is still Cleveland..Final Score, Cleveland Show 21- Mighty McBeams 34.



Jaguars At Eagles 1:00 PM CBS

There's always a shit games on opening week.. And Ladies and Gentleman, This will be it!!

If this games isn't over by mid first quarter, I'd be fucking shocked.. Only chance they have is letting Bartles(And James?) Take over after halftime..
Final Score, Jagoffs 17- Eagles 37.




                                                                                     
San Francisco At Dallas 4:25 PM FOX

I guess it's a good thing they are playing in Jerry's World instead of the 49'ers new home Levi's Stadium.. Jerry Jones will show you how to blow over a billion dollars on a stadium, And at least have the fucking turf playable!!


The biggest news this week out of Jerry Land, They got Michael Sam on the practice squad!!Folks, This is what you call Your team sucks,And the only thing we can do is say we signed a 7th round pick(Who had already been cut from 1 team)JUST because he is openly gay..
 You can argue this with me all you want.. Go look at the Cowboys transactions, Now see if there was a player who was drafted around the same round as Sam.. Yes he does have some talent,But this isn't about talent, It's about putting asses in the seats..Good luck with that Jerry...

Final Score, Brokebacks (More then ever before?) 21- Gold Diggers 31.


New York(Andres) At Detroit 7:10?? Monday ESPN

7:10 PM?? What in the holy mother fuck is that?? Just so you can cram Chargers/Cards in after this? Have fun with that kids..

Back to the game we are concerned about.. This games really comes down to which Eli Manning shows up.. Is it the Eli who will throw 5 or 6 touchdowns? Or the Eli who gives you that fucking look  when he tosses a pick 6..Let's hope it's the good Eli who shows up.
. Final Score, Andres 38- Blue Cats 34.






And there you have it folks, The 2014 season is underway.. Enjoy it if you can...

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Gettinjg To Know Your NFL Pickems Teams

Yes folks, It's that time of year again, The leaves will be changing,The brats are back in school.. And it's football season again!!!If you have been following along,We add our zany insight to typical NFL picks. Most of these are teams the loyal 3 or 4 like. A couple others are teams my fellow IFL owners like.

This year we add 1 more team, Thanks to long time reader,And fellow IFL owner  Hank(Corey),But all the teams we picked last year will be back(Jacksonville, You got a 1 year reprieve)So follow along as we introduce you new followers to NFL pickems, Grumblings And Rumblings style!!

 First off, We start with my team. The Pittsburgh Steelers..Common nicknames, Mighty McBeams, Omar's Army,Thundering Bens.. Last year, Eh fuck we won't talk about last year.. This season.. You may see a few more picks against them. Gone are the days Large Ben would make great work for me, You know "Allegedly "Raping women, Driving a motorcycle with no helmet,So on and so on.. This year he may set the NFL record for being sacked... In his TENTH yea! Lord knows how they will do!


 Cleveland Browns, IF They could stop poor drafting(Manziel  Johnny)or keeping players from being suspended(Gordon Josh) They actually may win some games. As they are a division rival,I hope they continue to suck, Have to deal with the other assholes in this division  that are winning now..Common nicknames,Brownies, The Cleveland Shows,And 2 games out the season, Shit Stains!
 New comer to our pick ems this season, The Philadelphia Eagles. You're welcome Hank lol.. I'm sure  by the end of the season I will come up up with new names for the former "Dream Team".. Until then, Green Eagles and ham will work..







 Up next.. The Jacksonville Jaguars.. They suck out loud!! Common names, Jagoffs, Jags,And this year, Anew name..Teal And Black And 8 Games Back!! This is the last year they will be in pick ems,Unless I hear that someone actually roots for these guys!



Here's 1 of the original teams, Long time reader Joy is a die hard Giants fan, And she has to put up with me knocking this team!! Common names, Andres, Fighting Andres.. New York Football Andres..







Next up.. Everyone's favorite to just shit all over.. The Dallas Cowboys.. Not many teams I can say I hate.. But this is 1 of 2 or 3!!! Common Nicknames, Brokebacks, Jerry's Boys, Jerry's World,







                        The Green Bay Packers..The main reason they are here is Ryan.. He has control of this blog whenever he feels the need to write a blog.. And knowing I didn't add them, He would!! Also Aaron Rodgers used to be my QB in Fantasy Football... Common Nick Names.. Chesseheads,Discount Double Checkers, Acme Inc..



And there you have it folks, You may see the same pictures a weeks in a row, But the picks will always be interesting.. As I always say, They are not highly thought out, Very Non scientific football prognostications.. And I'm always looking for someone to"Beat Bob" .. So if you think your picks are better, Get ahold of me, And I will print yours and mine!! Until next time!!!.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

What A Weekend!


Yes, It has been awhile.No argument here. Sadly it seems work intrudes on life more and more,So the end result is doing less of the things I enjoy.But as always, There's time for football!!
 And in the coming weeks(Months,)You know we will do our NFL Pickems every week, Something I enjoy doing as much as 1 or 2 of you enjoy reading!

But before we move forward, Let's go back shall we.......




Last Saturday was the International Football League's 15TH annual draft, This year we decided to "Go bigtime" And rent a conference room to do this. We've always had a great time time when Shawn and Corey hosted the draft,But with local owners increasing, We decided to find a much larger area to do our draft!!
The results could not have been better, Everyone enjoyed the area to spread out, We used the lobby as our own personal area to talk trades, Or anytime we needed a few minutes..I have to say I was a bit reluctant about shelling out a few bucks to do this.. But I admit now it was WELL worth the price!!!  Anything that makes life a bit easier is OK in my book!It also made us have a record setting draft, All I know is next year,We will be doing the same thing again!





The following day we all gathered again, This time to have the annual cookout.If there are 2 days I really look forward to every year, It is these 2 days!! This year was probably more looked forward to then almost any year we have done the cookout/Draft weekend.With everyone not seeing as much of each other as we used to,Like I said at the beginning,Work and other things sometimes make it difficult for everyone to get together as much.


So we all gathered for our cookout(Great idea for the earlier start time RS!!)And even with about 5 hours sleep in 36 hours I was ready for a fun afternoon!! We had our burgers and such.. Then played big ball... Never heard of it? Well.This  should help understand it more..I have not been able to run the last couple years dealing with nagging knee injuries. But this year, I at least tried.. All in all, It was a great weekend, And I hope we all can get together much sooner then we all did this time,But no matter the amount of time, We all just pick up where we left off! So in closing(Yeah this has been long a long post ha ha )I hope those of you who never have thought about fantasy football, Big ball, Or just hanging with good friends reconsider all the above.. You just may enjoy the time well spent!!