Your 2018 Guide To The Fall Season

Where the hell did summer go? I mean 1 second it's cold and 14 inches of snow on the ground.. The next thing I know, It's September 1.. Everyone calls it fall.. I call it bullshit!

I guess working the entire summer may have aided in the quickness of what seemed to be a short season.


So now we are going in to the longer... Darker.. Colder days .. Soon it will be dark at 4:30!!! And you may be forced to say some over used cliche's.. That's why your old buddy is here to possibly help out.

                                                 First day it's below freezing in the morning, You know what's coming.. Always that 1 person who says.. Don't you wish it was July? ..
Well this is where you can use a few different responses..
 1) Yeah, I would rather have to use pan coating to make sire my balls don't stick together..
2)A simpler.. Jollier exclamation.. IT'S FUCKING COLD!!!It's a time honored tradition ,And it's a contest some days!


Want to try some pumpkin spiced hot chocolate? There is ZERO other responses  for this.. You look that person straight in the eye, And ask if they are mental! Do not tamper with hot chocolate! No reason messing it up with squash!!

If you are driving along, And see some chuckle head mowing his leaves onto the road, This is all you need to do... Drive repeatedly back and forth over debris until it's allllllll back in the offending douchebags yard!!!

As the months grow colder,And you may experience freezing rain from time to time..
The very first person who says to you, Well it could be worse.. It could be snow..Wrong!!!! Just punch that bastage right in the throat!! I can drive in snow.. I can walk in snow.. Ever try walking up metal stairs covered in freezing rain? Not pretty!!  Plus nothing quite like sliding towards(insert object here)At least snow may cushion the impact..


Speaking of snow.. You know there's going to be someone who will overestimate snowfall totals by 3 feet!! "I got 46 inches down by the house".. Dude, You live 3/4 of a mile from me.. Unless someone blew all the snow from neighboring yards and roads, You're over compensating for something...


And finally... It's 3 plus months away from Christmas.. You know there's some insane fucker with a Christmas tree up already.. Find it and burn it!!!


That's it for now, Parks closed.. Moose out front should have told you!